Dealing with risky behavior in kids with ADHD
Kids are naturally impulsive. Kids with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) even more so. And that can lead to more than the usual risky behavior and its consequences. While parents and other adults can’t, and shouldn’t, overprotect against every display of ill-advised conduct, that doesn't mean you have to cringe in silence.
Children and adolescents with ADHD can learn to exert more self-control and make behavior choices more selectively. And in the process, they can spare themselves many of the hard knocks that usually come with problem behavior. Give these techniques a try:
Keep a channel open. Encourage children and adolescents to open up about their feelings, even the least comfortable ones. Establish a loving, non-judgmental environment where they can share what’s going, so they don’t have to seek out sympathetic ears someplace else. This can be self-reinforcing: each time a child takes the risk of talking honestly about their fears and feelings, your composure makes it easier for them to open up again next time.
Be clear and consistent. Kids can be rule-breakers as they test boundaries. Yet they want and need clear guardrails on their behavior. They need to understand and expect consequences when they do mess up: When you do X, the result will be Y. Similarly, they will respect and learn from a teaching moment when it’s focused, delivered with love, and related specifically to the problem behavior that caused it. Always follow through with consequences when there’s a clear infraction.
Be proactive about substance abuse. After reaching a certain age, unmedicated ADHD kids may be more likely than others to consider drugs and/or alcohol—either as a self-medication strategy, to gain social acceptance or out of curiosity. So open and maintain a dialog about the downsides of substance abuse. At the same time, encourage them to seek you out if they’re experiencing emotional triggers like depression, anxiety or stress. This helps you deal with any underlying issues, not just the behaviors you see on the surface. While you’re at it: If the child is taking psychoactive medications, be proactive about why it’s a bad idea to share them.
Listen and empathize. Understand where the child is coming from and what factors are driving their behavior. Unlike an adult, adolescents have difficulty with decision-making because their brains are not yet fully formed; that’s true for all adolescents and especially those with ADHD. Understand this developmental truth and you can avoid being judgmental when encountering problem behavior.
Practice some what-ifs. Help the child apply the rules in hypothetical, real-world scenarios. Kids encounter hard choices every day. It helps to run through the most dangerous ones in advance whenever the opportunity presents itself. How should you respond when a friend who has been drinking wants you to ride in a car with them? How do you confront a bully? What if someone offers to help you cheat on a test? This kind of role play arms the child with clear direction and alternative behaviors, and it positions you as a partner, rather than an adversary. One message every child should always have in their arsenal: if they ever find themselves in an unsafe situation, you’ll come pick them up, anywhere, anytime, without preconditions or judgment.
Recognize magical thinking. All adolescents think they can wish away unpleasant outcomes—like getting into an accident when you drive recklessly. That tendency comes with the territory. But you can arm yourself with facts to show how unrealistic thinking can skew a person’s judgment. By calling out magical thinking before it hardens, while the child is just “trying it on for size,” you help steer the child toward rational decision-making.
You can’t eliminate risky behavior, but you can anticipate when and how it occurs and take proactive steps to set up a support system. For more on helping ADHD adolescents manage their challenges and avoid risky behavior, consider our evaluation and therapy services. For a tour of our campus or more information, call us at 904.346.5100.